We all love receiving letters, especially from someone we care about. But sometimes, a letter can bring us news that we never expected and instantly regret opening it. This next joke is a perfect example of that.
In this joke, a husband decides to break up with his wife by writing her a Dear John letter. Instead of having the courage to talk to her face-to-face, he chooses the cowardly route of leaving a note. But little did he know, his wife had a letter to send him as well.
Let’s dive into the hilarious exchange between the husband and wife and see what valuable lesson we can learn from it.
Dear wife,
I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever. I’ve been a good man to you for 7 years, and I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been terrible.
Your boss called me today to tell me that you quit your job, and that was the last straw.
Last week, you came home and didn’t even notice I had a new haircut. I had cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. But you ate in 2 minutes and went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps.
You don’t tell me you love me anymore, and you don’t want anything that connects us as husband and wife. Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore. Whatever the case may be, I’m gone.
Your EX-Husband
P.S. Don’t try to find me. Your SISTER and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
Dear Ex-Husband,
Receiving your letter has truly made my day. It’s true that you and I have been married for 7 years, but I have to say, you have been far from a good man.
I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining and griping. It’s unfortunate that it doesn’t seem to work.
I did notice when you got a haircut last week, and the first thing that came to mind was, “You look just like a girl!” But, following my mother’s advice of not saying anything if you can’t say something nice, I decided to keep quiet.
As for cooking my favorite meal, you must have mistaken me for MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago.
And about those new silk boxers you wore, I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them. I prayed it was just a coincidence that my sister had borrowed $50 from me that morning.
Despite everything, I still loved you and thought we could work things out. So, when I won 10 million dollars in the lottery, I quit my job and even bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home, you were already gone. I believe that everything happens for a reason.
I truly hope you find the fulfilling life you’ve always wanted. Oh, by the way, my lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. Take care.
Signed,
Your Ex-Wife, Rich & Free!
This funny exchange between the husband and wife reminds us that communication is key in any relationship. Instead of hiding behind letters, it’s important to have open and honest conversations to address any issues or concerns. And sometimes, a little humor can go a long way in diffusing tense situations.
So, next time you feel the need to write a “Dear John” letter, remember this joke and think twice about how you can better communicate with your loved one.
