A Life-Changing Decision
Dear Wife,
I hope this letter finds you well. I wanted to take a moment to communicate with you about a decision I have recently made. After careful consideration, I have come to the conclusion that our relationship is no longer viable. The past 7 years have been filled with pain and unhappiness, and I believe it’s in both of our best interests to move on.
The Final Straw
Your recent actions, such as abruptly quitting your job without any prior discussion, have been incredibly difficult for me to understand. It has left me feeling neglected and unimportant in our partnership. I have reached a point where I can only assume that you have lost interest or have found someone else. Therefore, I have decided it is time for me to start a new chapter in my life.
A Fresh Start
I want to assure you that I am not seeking revenge or ill-will towards you. My decision to leave is fueled by the desire to find happiness and fulfillment elsewhere. I have chosen to relocate to West Virginia with your sister, as we both believe that a change of scenery will allow us to embrace new opportunities and create a brighter future for ourselves.
Farewell
Although we are parting ways, I would like to take this opportunity to bid you farewell. Our marriage may have come to an end, but it’s important to treat each other with respect and kindness as we embark on this new journey separately.
Goodbye,
Your Ex-Husband
Dear Ex-Husband,
Receiving your letter brought an unexpected sense of relief and freedom. Let’s be honest, neither of us have been perfect in this marriage. Your constant complaints and dissatisfaction with me drove me to my beloved soap operas for solace. And can we please discuss that questionable haircut you once sported? Let’s just say it wasn’t my cup of tea.
Oh, and those silk boxers you thought were a gift for someone else due to their extravagant price tag? Spoiler alert: they were not. I know, shocking.
Speaking of gifts, do you remember when I won the lottery? I had dreams and aspirations for both of us, but you vanished into thin air. Life moves on, and so do I, now rich and free. Your letter solidifies the fact that you will not have any part in my newfound wealth.
Take care,
Signed,
Your Ex-Wife, Rich and Free
P.S. By the way, did you know that my sister Carla was actually born Carl? I hope that revelation doesn’t cause any issues for you.
