Once upon a time, an elderly woman was driving along at quite a speed when she suddenly spotted a police officer with a radar gun on the other side of a bridge. The officer seemed to be lying in wait, ready to catch unsuspecting drivers like her.

With a mix of surprise and irritation, the officer pulled her over and approached her car. He wore that classic patronizing smirk on his face as he asked, “What’s your hurry?”

In response, the woman calmly explained, “I’m late for work.”

The officer, intrigued by her nonchalant demeanor, asked, “Oh yeah? And what do you do for work?”

Without missing a beat, the woman replied, “I’m a R*ctum Stretcher.”

The officer was taken aback and stammered, “A what?”

Confidently, the woman repeated, “A R*ctum Stretcher! You see, I start by inserting one finger into the rectum, then work my way up to two fingers, then three, and so on, until I can fit my whole hand in. From there, I skillfully work from side to side, gradually stretching it until it reaches a length of about 6 feet.”

The officer’s eyes widened in disbelief as he asked, “And just what the hell do you do with a 6-foot asshole?”

With a mischievous smile, the woman replied, “You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge!”