As the summer of 2024 heats up, the dating scene is also heating up, but not necessarily in a good way. Romance experts are warning about a new dating phenomenon called “benching,” and it’s leaving many singletons feeling sidelined and hurt. So, let’s break down what benching is and how you can spot if you’re being benched.

What is Benching?

Benching is when you find yourself being someone’s backup plan. They may shower you with attention, but you’re never their priority. It’s like being stuck on the bench of a sports team, waiting for a chance to play that may never come. It’s surprisingly straightforward compared to the numerous vague dating terms that pop up every week.

Why Benching Hurts

Being benched hurts because of the uncertainty and lack of commitment involved. It feels like a constant state of limbo, waiting for the other person to decide if they want to take you off the bench. This ambiguity can lead to feelings of insecurity and low self-esteem.

Signs You’re Being Benched

If you suspect you’re being benched, here are some key signs to look out for:

• Limited Availability: They’re always busy, especially when you want to see them. Late-night texts or sporadic availability could mean you’re not a priority.
• Inconsistency: Their behavior is hot and cold, leaving you confused about where you stand. They may be struggling with their feelings or simply keeping you on the back burner.
• One-Sided Interactions: You’re the one initiating conversations, planning dates, and making all the effort. A healthy relationship involves equal participation from both sides.
• They’re Honest (Brutally): If they openly tell you they’re considering other options, you’re definitely being benched. While honesty is appreciated, it doesn’t make the situation less hurtful.
• Intuition: Trust your gut feeling. If something feels off, it probably is. Don’t ignore your intuition when it comes to matters of the heart.

What to Do If You’re Being Benched

If you find yourself on the bench, it’s crucial to prioritize your well-being. Don’t settle for being someone’s second choice. Communicate your feelings honestly and assess whether this is the kind of relationship you want. Remember, you deserve someone who makes you a priority, not an option.

Protecting Yourself from Benching

While it’s impossible to completely shield yourself from the pitfalls of the dating game, there are steps you can take to reduce the risk of being benched:

• Set Boundaries: Be clear about your expectations from the start. Don’t settle for inconsistent communication or sporadic dates.
• Focus on Your Needs: Don’t prioritize someone who doesn’t prioritize you. Invest your time and energy in people who value and respect you.
• Date Multiple People: Don’t put all your eggs in one basket. Explore your options and keep your options open until someone proves they deserve your full attention.
• Trust Your Instincts: If something feels off, don’t ignore it. Your intuition is often a reliable guide in matters of the heart.

By setting healthy boundaries and prioritizing your well-being, you can protect yourself from the pain of being benched and increase your chances of finding a fulfilling and committed relationship.