When Friends Turn into Freeloaders: A Wild BBQ Tale

It’s always nice to have friends. After all, we humans are pretty social creatures and not everyone has a family one wants to hang out with all the time. But sometimes one’s “friends” are really just freeloaders who want to use your time, resources and energy to get free stuff.

A netizen shared their horror stories with an entitled friend who kept trying to organize last minute parties at their home. She would then start inviting all sorts of random guests without even consulting the host. We reached out to the person who shared the story via private message and will update the article when they get back to us.

Helping a friend host a party is a very normal thing to do

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But one person realized that their friend was just taking advantage of them through all sorts of last-minute demands

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Image credits: Luis Quintero / pexels (not the actual photo)

Humans greatly benefit from having friends

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It’s probably not a surprise to anyone that having friends isn’t just some nice feeling, it’s actually good for your mental and physical health. In fact, this “effect” is so pronounced, some researchers label it a “behavioral vaccine,” as it can positively affect entire groups. Among women, having a friend group lessens the risk of suicide while among both genders, it lowers school drop-out rates, aggression and crime.

There are also weaker links to actual, physical health, although currently researchers are still working out the precise mechanics. Some theories suggest that people with friends will lead a more healthy lifestyle, as they will naturally be more active. This could be a chicken-and-egg situation, as many people make friends at, for example, a gym or sporting club.

However, the conclusion still remains the same, it’s better to have friends then not. We are pretty social creatures that don’t do that well alone. Even extreme introverts need to talk sometimes and with texting and video chatting, it’s never been easier for an introvert to just keep in touch without burning through their social battery.

Toxic people will often manipulate you into seeing “their side”

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However, as this story demonstrates, not all friendships are made equal. They can be very one sided, one’s “friends” might just be terrible people or, at worst, they could be “parasites” that just leach off of the people who think they are friends. The most classic example of a “toxic friendship” is when one party ignores boundaries.

In this story, that’s exactly what has happened. Not only is this friend ignoring relational boundaries by pushing an agenda, she is very literally overstepping property boundaries by trying to use another person’s home for her own needs. In some cases, they might even be entitled enough to not feel like they are doing anything wrong. Entitlement is often very toxic, as it turns what is supposed to be a relationship into an exchange of goods and services.

Similarly, toxic friends will display a shocking lack of empathy. This is just as visible in this story, as the “friend” keeps pushing, even when the person who shared the story is clearly not comfortable. She also keeps inviting new people, which, at best, shows a clear lack of social boundaries. But more likely, she is simply aware that she can get away with it, at least in her mind.

The first step is realizing that this relationship has issues

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Some readers blamed the person who shared the story for not setting up boundaries earlier. It certainly would have helped, but it’s important to keep in mind that manipulative, toxic people will very often make it hard to understand that they are bad for you. After all, many of us want to see the best in people, a trait that it can be good to keep.

The fact that they have to ask the internet for advice is a sign that this person is untangling all the actions of this woman. The first step would be to set boundaries and keep them. A good friend would respect your boundaries. If this woman keeps overstepping, this is a clear sign that it’s best to end this relationship now.

Ultimately, one thing that can help end a bad friendship is a good one. Most people do not want to be alone, so they maintain even bad relationships. So having a support network to turn to can help offset the sudden lack of socialization. Hopefully, the myriad of comments supporting them will help this person realize that this woman is not a friend and is just taking advantage.