So, you think your husband is the ultimate lazybones? Think again! This story is bound to give you a chuckle and maybe, just maybe, a few genius ideas for handling your own at-home sloth.

Our comical tale begins with a classic scenario. Picture this: a wife pleading for some much-needed garden help.

Act 1: The Gardener’s Conundrum

Wife: Honey, can you please help me clean the garden?

Husband: Do I look like a gardener?

Oh, the nerve, right? Here we have Mr. Husband pulling the classic “it’s not my job” card. But, oh dear, that’s not the end of it!

Act 2: The Carpenter Crisis

Seeing that her request for gardening assistance was shot down faster than you can say “lazy,” the wife tries a different tactic.

Wife: Ooh, sorry honey, okay then, fix the bathroom door.

Husband: Do I look like a carpenter? …

Isn’t he a riot? Two strikes and it looks like Mr. Husband is barreling toward strike three with impressive speed.

Act 3: The Great Escape

So what does our hero do next? He walks out! Of course, he does. Needing to save his energy for the big sofa nap, no doubt. But plot twist! Upon his triumphant return, he’s greeted with a cleaned garden and a fixed door. Cue the dramatic music!

Husband: I knew my wife would do this all by herself…!

Take a breather and try to guess the twist here. It’s not the wife!

Act 4: Enter the Neighbor

Our clueless husband stands there with a puzzled look as his wife drops the bombshell.

Wife: No, it’s not me.

Husband: Who then!

Wife: Our neighbor.

Here’s where things get juicy. Trying to mask his jealousy (or whatever emotion lazy husbands feel), he jumps to the next logical question.

Act 5: The Bread or… Ahem… You Know

Husband: You paid him? How much?

Wife: No, he just gave me two options, bread or sex….

By this point, you can picture the beads of sweat forming on the husband’s forehead, right? There’s only one thing he can do:

Husband: I hope you gave him bread

But our sassy wife isn’t done yet. Ready for the punchline?

Wife: Do I look like a bakery!!!!

And that’s how you make sure your husband will think twice before playing the lazy card ever again. Who knew a slice of bread (or the lack thereof) could be so powerful?

Moral of the story? When life gives you a lazy husband, serve up some hearty humor and let the chips—or bread crumbs—fall where they may. It’s all in a day’s work, darling!