Dear Wife,

I hope this letter finds you well. I wanted to reach out and let you know that after much consideration, I have made the difficult decision to end our marriage. Our relationship, spanning over 7 years, has brought us nothing but sadness and unhappiness. Your recent actions, like quitting your job without any discussion, have only added to my concerns. It has become clear to me that you have become indifferent and neglectful, leaving me with no choice but to assume that you have lost interest or found someone else.

With all of this in mind, I believe it is best for both of us to move on. There is no need for you to search for me, as I have already started a new chapter in my life with your sister in West Virginia.

Wishing you all the best,
Your Ex-Husband

---

Ex-Wife’s Response:

Dear Ex-Husband,

I must say, your letter brought a smile to my face. Let’s be honest, our marriage was far from perfect, and I couldn’t escape your constant complaints. In need of solace, I often found refuge in my beloved soap operas. And as for that haircut of yours… well, let’s just say it didn’t quite suit my taste.

Oh, and those expensive silk boxers? I had my suspicions that they were intended for someone else, given the price tag. And do you recall when I won the lottery? I had plans for both of us, but you vanished into thin air.

Life moves forward, as do I. And now, I am fortunate enough to be rich and free. Your letter has solidified the fact that you will not be sharing in my newfound wealth.

Take care of yourself.

Sincerely,
Your Ex-Wife, Rich and Free

P.S. My sister Carla was born Carl. I hope this isn’t an issue.